I have a dear friend who is diametrically opposed to all things I believe politically. I am fine with that, but she constantly tries to goad me into debating her, which makes me uncomfortable. Can this friendship be saved?

Beth says: Long ago, I realized there are three kisses of death to a friendship.  The first two are any discussions about religion and politics.  The third is when your friend starts selling Amway and tries to suck you into selling it too, but that's a discussion for another time!  Anyhoo... I have had various friends and relatives unsuccessfully over the years try to convince me to change my liberal loyalty.  I am not interested,  number one.  Number two, I have found that with a few very rare exceptions, most people have no idea what they are talking about.  On occasion, I might be in the mood for an intelligent, respectful discourse, but that rarely is what's on the table.  Instead I usually try to change the subject or say something along the lines of "I really don't want to have this discussion."  It takes two to have a discussion and if you refuse to participate and tow the hard line, eventually they will run out of steam.  Anyone who insists on continuing is either someone you might want to consider no longer being friends with or is a relative, and if that's case, you just have to pour yourself another drink and hope dinner is served sooner rather than later.

Kevin says:  There is a spectrum of “friendship” that can range anywhere from someone you know on Facebook all the way up to a de facto soul mate. But there are very few people in our lives with whom we agree 100% of the time. Depending on where this person falls on your spectrum defines your approach. If this is a Facebook-variety friend, you really can simply ignore the goading and refuse to engage. If this is a closer friend, you must deal with the situation head on. “Sue, you know I love you, right? I really do, and it’s totally fine that we disagree on this topic. But, I don’t want our different points of view to affect our friendship. I’d really rather talk about something else, ok?” If this person continues to goad you, understand that this is may well be a passive-aggressive strategy on your friend’s part to redefine and downgrade your friendship. Good friends love you for you, not because you agree with their politics.