Do I need to tell my new partner everything about my past?

Kevin says:  What? You’re kidding, right?
The short answer is no. The long answer is it really depends on how long you’ve been dating and how serious things are getting. Your new partner needs to know about situations in your past, in the broadest of terms, that affect your ability to interact one-on-one with him or her in the present --- if you were abused or molested in the past, for instance. But you do not have to go into detail, even if pressed. However, it’s important NOT to make those situations your new partner’s problem to solve. Let’s say your last partner (or partners) cheated on you, which has left you feeling insecure and jealous. You can’t tell your new partner about this IF your goal is to control his or her behavior. “I’ve had boyfriends who cheated on me in the past, so I sometimes get jealous for no reason. It’s something I’m working on, but it can creep up on me. If I start acting weird, I won’t mind if you remind me about this …” Some things are best left at your therapist’s office. And, finally, a note about disclosure of things of a sexual nature. If you are going to be sexually active with your new partner, you do have to share any sexual health issues you’re dealing with or the presence of any sexually transmitted infections --- even if you are using condoms, as some STIs can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. Some of these topics will be tricky or potentially embarrassing. But, the path to intimacy is paved with all sorts of opportunities, one conversation at a time, to reveal who you are and to learn about your new partner.

Beth says:  In the words of my beloved sister when I asked her this question, "HELL NO!"  There are exactly three situations where you should share information about your past with a new partner.  1)  If you have a disease  2) If you have a restraining order against the ex and by virtue of hanging out with you, your partner is now potentially at risk.  3) If it's something that's going to bite you in the ass later.  If your answer is one or two, then you need to be up front.  If it's number three, you can sort of wait it out and see if it becomes necessary.  There is honesty in a relationship ("I've been married before.") and there is self-indulgence ("...and he told me I was the best sex he ever had and that's why he always calls me still,") and then there is the relationship land mine ("and that was just my first threesome!").  Use common sense, young lovers.  Full disclosure is a Pandora's Box.