Beth's List:
This Gal would like to suggest that you instead, make a list of the things that you did right in 2011 with the promise that you will continue to keep up the good work in 2012. It's so much more fun!
1. No question, the best thing I did in 2011 was to find an exercise program that I enjoyed and stick with it. After many promises ("I will go to the gym once summer starts!", "I'm going to start walking/running/do the P90X videos!"), I finally decided to follow through. My motivation came not so much out of vanity, but due to crippling back pain and general aches that have come with being over 40 and a job the requires me to stand all the time. My sister turned me on to the Zumba home videos and I now get up at 5:00 a.m. five days a week to meringue my way to fitness. It's rough, but I have discovered that getting up at 5 a.m. sucks no more than getting up at 5:45 and I feel much better all day.
2. I am really enjoying my job. After feeling like I'd been hazed my first year of teaching, I really hit my stride this year. Most days, I am excited to go to work.
3. I have a great relationship with my ex. I am very proud that despite a huge learning curve, my ex and I are true partners in parenting our children. This isn't always possible and I am so happy that we've been able to rise above our differences to have the best interest of our kids prioritized.
4. I am good to myself. This year I really made an effort to do things that made me happy. I made time for friends, travel, relaxing and visits to my favorite spa.
Kevin’s rules for 2012:
Set and write down your yearly goals now. I work with a business coach and as part of my ongoing assignments, she asks me regularly to write out my goals (short- and long-term). It’s a much more difficult exercise than you might think. But here is what I’ve learned from the exercise: Don’t go crazy. Seriously, three to five goals is perfect. They should be specific, measurable, and realistic. And they should have meaning and context for you. They should be more than, “It would be nice if…” Understand and internalize the reason why you want to achieve a certain goal. You should easily be able to visualize what it will look like when you’ve achieved these goals. For instance, one of my goals for 2012 is to refresh my proficiency in French. I studied French all through high school and college --- but have lost almost all of it in the intervening years. So, my goal is to be able to watch and understand a movie in French by November of 2012 (simple, measurable, and easy to visualize).
Be willing to say yes to new opportunities. This was one of my rules for 2011, and I’m going to continue it into 2012. Mostly, this has to do with being open to new things in general. It’s impossible to know where new opportunities are coming from and what they’ll look like. So, having the mindset of “yes” when presented with a new opportunity can lead to the unexpected. And you can always reverse course if you need to. For instance, I have single female friends who say they’ll go on a first date with anyone who asks (well, so long as they’re not stalkerish!) --- even if that means they may go out with someone they might otherwise overlook. You just never know what might happen!
Be willing to say no to new commitments. Especially if a new commitment does not support your primary yearly goals. It’s so easy to get guilted into new commitments --- chairing a committee, hosting a fundraiser, chaperoning a field trip. Learning to say, “I’m so sorry, but my calendar is full right now,” (with a smile!) can be surprisingly revelatory.
Support local businesses. When you purchase from locally owned businesses --- rather than nationally owned --- more money is kept in your community; locally owned businesses often purchase from other local businesses, service providers, and farms. In turn, this requires less transportation and less stress on the environment. Further, local development contributes less to sprawl, congestion, habitat loss, and pollution. Additionally, small local businesses are the largest employers nationally. Local businesses often hire people with more specific product expertise and personal investment, which leads to better customer service.
Buy American. When you buy a product, you don’t just consume, you're also supporting values. If I asked you to entertain the thought of supporting poor wages, child labor, poor working conditions, contaminated products, environmental pollution, waste of natural resources, and an ever-increasing mountain of trash that will take hundreds of years to decompose, how would you feel? Most people are disgusted by these ideas --- but then they don't think twice about blindly purchasing foreign products that contribute to some or all of those things, simply because they're cheap. If you don’t want to contribute to those issues, you have to change the way you shop and consume. Buy products produced locally, support companies that make an effort to become sustainable, and where possible, choose American-manufactured products over those manufactured abroad.
Cook from scratch as often as possible. There are many benefits to cooking from scratch. First, you know exactly what goes into the food that you are eating. No more excess salt, fat, and carbs --- unless you want them, of course! Second, you save money. Processed foods are not only often unhealthy, but they are often much more expensive than making them yourself. Cooking from scratch is a fantastic way to save money on groceries. And third, homemade food simply tastes better. But how to get started if you're reliant on processed and prepared foods? I'd recommend getting a copy of Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything" cookbook. Mr. Bittman's straightforward instructions and advice will help you make delicious meals using fresh, natural ingredients; simple techniques; and basic equipment.
Incorporate exercise into daily activities. We’ve all heard this advice before and it seems so easy. Unfortunately, it’s harder than you might think. I try to get to yoga a couple of times a week, and I’ve just received the Zumba fitness DVD set (as recommended by Beth), but some weeks --- despite your best effort --- an organized fitness class or time spent in front of the DVD player is just not in the cards. When all else fails, walking is your best friend. I think about Parisians, who subsist on a diet of wine, cigarettes, Laduree macarons, and pains au chocolat --- and yet who are rail thin. They stay thin by walking EVERYWHERE. You can do the same. Here are a few additional ideas: Start taking the furthest away parking spot and get in a few extra steps between your car and your destination; get off the bus or subway one or two stops before your normal stop and walk the rest of the way; choose the stairs over the elevator; go dancing; practice perfect posture.
Say thanks and mean it. Gratitude is meant to be practiced regularly. I have a wonderful friend who regularly posts her daily gratitude lists to Facebook (Hey, Special K!). Those gratitude lists are a reminder that constantly finding things to be grateful for is a valuable exercise. Gratitude is a muscle that you need to flex and strengthen, so that in times of great stress, you can more easily keep things in proper perspective.
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