Beth says: Let's start with what you should not drink. I don't think wine is going to have the desired effect. Wine is more of a "I'm in a relaxing atmosphere and I want to chill" drink. Rum is for more festive, happy occasions, so that's just going to depress you further. Tequila, also not a good idea for obvious reasons. There is no reason to be drinking tequila unless you are in a situation where it's appropriate to be obnoxiously drunk and naked. That leaves bourbon or whiskey--both fine choices, but this Gal doesn't really drink the dark stuff. Gin and tonic would be a safe choice. However, last weekend (after I stood in the cold for an hour at 12:30 a.m. trying to get a cab and a Gay kindly picked me up) we stayed up until well after 2:00 a.m. drinking a festive little drink, which I will call The Dave Grohl, that might suit your purposes. The Dave Grohl is a generous serving of vodka over ice, with cranberry juice and a splash of Fresca. This is suitably festive to keep your spirits up, while having enough vodka in it to get you nice and numb/hammered. You're welcome.Kevin says: The holidays are stressful. There's no getting around it. You don't ever seem to have enough time or money for the last two months of the year. That alone is enough to send your cortisol levels soaring, but combine that with spending time with other stressed humans and you've got a volatile combination.
I am personally a great fan of the medicinal properties of alcohol, but my advice on this count is actually to lay off the sauce as much as possible over the long holiday weekend, for a number of reasons. First, alcohol lowers our inhibitions, which can be a good thing --- but it can also loosen your tongue. Words said in a tipsy moment have a way of haunting us. What seems like a clever retort in the moment can easily be misconstrued. Second, dealing with a stressful holiday visit by medicating with alcohol is a very slippery slope. Even the most experienced drinkers can find it hard to manage their alcohol intake so that they're mellow but not drunk. It's going to be virtually impossible for someone who's less experienced at guaging their body's tolerance. And third, if you've had a few glasses of wine or cocktails, you'll be in no position to "pop out to the store for some cranberry sauce," when your mother-in-law asks you for the fifth time how you and her son are doing "in the bedroom" or when homophobic Aunt Mathilde demands to know why you're not married yet.
So, here are a few suggestions with dealing with the stress of uncomfortable holiday family gatherings:
Eat, drink, and be merry — within reason. The holidays are meant for celebration, so celebrate --- but have a plan in mind. Graze on protein (turkey, cheese, nuts) between meals to keep your insulin and hunger levels in check. Drink lots of water. Save the alcohol for mealtimes.
Exercise. When the stress seems overwhelming, take an exercise break. Just 30 minutes a day — a brisk walk, a run on the treadmill, or strength training — gives you a powerful tool to fend off stress. Exercise not only helps you manage weight and is good for your body, but it can help you de-stress and clear your mind.
Take time for yourself. Taking care of yourself helps you to take better care of others in your life. Go for a long walk or take time out to read or listen to your favorite music.
Understand that you can only control your behavior and no one elses. If you know your mother is going to comment endlessly on your weight or how you're raising your kids or how much your husband is drinking, keep a mental "snark bank." Every time your mom makes a snarky remark, don't engage. Simply smile, add $5 (or $1 or 25 cents) to your mental snark bank, and plan on how you'll reward yourself with that money later. A pedicure, a pumpkin spice latte, a ticket to see the new Twilight movie by yourself. Make it a game. Altering the way you relate might just change the dynamic between you and your mother!
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